Wondering how to feel more confident as a floral designer or farmer florist? You're in the right place.
To start with, I have a question for you: have you ever stopped to wonder where confidence comes from?
If you're anything like me, it's definitely not something most of us ever think about.
I used to believe that confidence was something you were born with. Like there are people who just 'have confidence' built into their DNA...and then there are the rest of us.
As a floral designer and creative entrepreneur, all of our self-doubt and imposter syndrome come bubbling up to the surface the day we make the decision to start a business. (And navigating that self-doubt is something we every dang day, right?)
My friend, if you feel like a fraud, a total imposter, you are not alone. Not by a long shot.
I used to believe I was the only floral designer on the planet who felt like I don't have my shit together – everyone else seems to be showing up on social media with their perfect studios, perfect flowers, perfect number of Instagram followers and perfect customers...
Meanwhile, you and I are falling deep down into the comparison spiral, second-guessing everything we're doing in our businesses. Every day we wake up wondering, "How the heck did those famous florists figure it out?!?!?"
Since starting my own business more than 11 years ago, I've been learning a lot about confidence and where confidence comes from.
And, I thought it could be super helpful to share some of my best 'a ha' moments and gives you my favourite tips for feeling more confident.
If you're a brand new florist, these tips will help you navigate imposter syndrome and overcome a lot of the self-doubt that keeps you stuck in inaction.
If you're a veteran designer, who still feels like a fraud and you're wondering how to feel more confident as a floral designer, you're also in the right place.
I am on a mission to make sure every floral designer on the planet has the tools they need to show up with more confidence – regardless of your formal training, qualifications, credentials or the years you've been in business.
Back to Basics: How to Feel More Confident As a Floral Designer
One of the best places to start, when it comes to learning how to show up with more confidence, is getting really clear on what confidence is.
For so long, I walked around just wishing I could feel more confident...but I never really thought about what that meant (in its truest, most tangible sense).
So, when it comes to learning how to feel more confident in your flower business, let's define what that means.
The kids on the Googles, define confidence as: the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
In this instance, I will suggest we get super pedantic in the definition and replace "someone or something" with "themselves".
That being said, we can define confidence as: "the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on themselves".
I find this definition so empowering because it shows you exactly where to turn to when it comes to creating confidence: yourself.
That leads me right into Lesson #1...
Lesson #1: Increasing Your Confidence Is An Inside Job
Simply recognising and learning that confidence isn't something you're "given", it's not something that is handed over to you like a glass of water or a new sweater.
If you're wondering how to feel more confident as a floral designer, the first 'a ha' moment I had was realising that confidence is a feeling or a belief you create in yourself. It is 100% self-made.
And feeling confident in your own abilities comes from your own thinking. The way we humans are programmed to operate is that you create a feeling of confidence by thinking confident thoughts.
For most of us, that doesn't come naturally. We don't wake up in the morning thinking, 'Yeah, I am freakin' amazing!!'
Why? Cause your human brain has a built-in negativity bias. That negativity bias is super helpful for keeping you safe and making sure you stay alive to see another day...but it's not helpful when it comes to feeling more confident.
In fact, it's the exact opposite – it is the opposing force and the thing we need to learn to unwind, in order to show up with more confidence, more often.
PRO TIP: We teach a lot about confidence and managing your mindset inside Flower Boss Bootcamp. If you're struggling with self-confidence, come join us and learn my best secrets for showing up with more authority (even if you're brand new, have no IG followers and don't wanna open a shop space).
Lesson #2: How to Think Thoughts That Create Confidence.
The work here is to redirect your default internal dialogue. Your brain loves efficiency and that means it wants to, by default, think the same thoughts over and over (and over) again.
As you walk through the day, without anything else to focus on, your brain is going to keep coming back to the same thoughts it's been thinking for the last few decades – for most of us, that narrative isn't very empowering.
For me, my default internal dialogue has traditionally been some version of "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not smart enough to figure this out."
For you, it might be "I'm not qualified," "I feel like an imposter," or "I'm too old/young".
And yes, we all have our stories. We all have our well-practised "I'm not good enough" internal narratives. All of us.
Here's the thing though, because you're a human being with a human brain, you also have the ability to think about what you're thinking about. And if you don't give your brain new thoughts to think, it's going to forever repeat the "I'm not good enough" storyline.
You're probably asking, "OK Kathleen, how do you do that?"
Can you think of a time when you did a hard thing? Maybe you're the first in your family to go to college. Maybe you've had five kids. Maybe you've learned to speak another language. Maybe you're mother in law in a difficult person. Maybe you finally broke up with that partner who doesn't treat you like a total Queen. Give yourself a few minutes to think it over.
I want you to think about a hard or challenging experience you conquered. Something you feel really proud of (it can be anything!).
We all have experiences in our past that can serve as fuel for our futures.
Now, I want you to take a moment to recognise, truly appreciate, that YOU made that happen. (Yes, you!) And, if you're able to make that happen, then you can make anything happen. Right?
You can, in fact, figure out how to build a profitable flower business. Right?
You can, keep going on the hard days. Right?
You can do this. Right?
Use that past experience, that past feeling of confidence as fuel to move you forward to the next step of your growth.
Lesson #3: Repetition Is Key
Now, your brain, when left to its own devices, isn't going to automatically switch its internal thought patterns. Every day, it's going to want to come back to the "I'm not good enough" dialogue.
(Remember, we've been thinking that for years, so it's very comfortable staying in that pattern and it's going come back there until you create a new neural pathway. To do that though you need to be relentless in your repetition.)
You need to find ways to bring your brain back to thinking the thoughts that create confidence on purpose. You need to keep reminding yourself that if you make that happen, you can do the next hard thing.
This is a daily, often hourly practice.
And the most important piece to remember is that when your brain goes back to its "I'm not good enough" storyline, nothing has gone wrong. You are not broken. You are a human being with a human brain.
And learning to create confidence intentionally is 100% in your power. It just requires you to stay on top of your thinking, manage your mindset, and be relentlessly repetitive in your intentional confidence-creating thinking.
Let's Go Deeper: 3 Income Producing Beliefs for Florists
Once you start to see the power of shifting your perspective and you see that you can stop allowing your default brain to repeat the same BS narratives it's been repeating for decades, you'll see that you really can do anything (yes you can!).
Yes, you're going to have hard days.
Yes, you're going to get blindsided by difficult clients, wholesale supply will forever be a moving target and growing a team. And yes, becoming the next version of yourself brings a new level of discomfort and personal growth.
But that's precisely why I thought it would be helpful to put together a new podcast episode that dives into all of this more. And, even better, gives you my three go-to income-producing beliefs. (Save this podcast and be sure to come back to it when you need a boost of confidence and a little kick in the pants.)
Inside This Week's Podcast Episode You'll Learn:
✓ Why more qualifications, more followers and getting published isn't enough
✓ How to feel more confident right now – even if you're new or unqualified
✓ What to do when your not seeing results, making the revenue you envisioned, or reaching your sales targets
✓ My 3 go-to income-producing beliefs for floral designers and farmer florists
Listen to the full episode here
Full Episode Transcript